Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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