so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
