Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
