as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I came so hard my ears popped.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
