3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
