# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
