You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
