just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
