i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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