Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
