the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
