Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
