I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
