I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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