Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
