if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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