i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
