if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
