Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
