idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
