It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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