I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
