Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
