when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
