We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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