Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
