Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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