Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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