Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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