wat bout pragnant strippers??
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize