the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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