Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
