So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize