WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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