Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
