just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
