i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's blow job season.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
