We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
