Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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