pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize