I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
be right there i have to get my cape
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize