we have pet lesbian snakes
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
God, I missed his penis.
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