Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm at about main and main street
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize