Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
