I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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