Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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