You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
