dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
