dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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