Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We left the knife in your bed.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
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