I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
