after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
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