the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
