brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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