loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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