Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
