We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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