I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Drunk is not a location!
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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