I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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