dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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