I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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